February 3, 2017 – Sarasota, FL

Is there life after death? It depends on who you speak to, but for us this Shabbat confirms that there is a life after death for those remaining alive. The memorial service for my mother-in-law was at Temple Emanu-El and shiva was held at our home on Wednesday. Like raising children, it took a village to prepare for life after a death. The house was filled with visitors from 3:30-9:00.  It was lovely and life went on.

This Shabbat was not only the first one after Carol’s passing, it also marked our Aunt Marilyn’s 80th birthday. Prior to services, Steve prepared a lovely dinner and set the table for six – Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Harold Schwartz, cousin Joel Schwartz, brother-in-law, Mitch Weinberger, Steve and I. I did not make it home for dinner, however, as I was with my mom whose Lewy Body dementia and Parkinson’s disease continues to progress rendering her more and more helpless.

When I did arrive home in time to catch a ride to services, the candles had been lit, wined poured, raisin challah and Shabbat plate were waiting for me. It was comforting. It was a family night service and the Shabbat band and adolescents lead and participated in the service so it was upbeat. We sang favorite tunes such as Oseh Shalom, listened to Rabbi Shrefin’s sermon about “Paradise” and sat with our dear Shabbat friends, Sam and Tali Schneider.

On this Shabbat we officially recited the mourner’s kaddish. The ritual suggests that after a parent has passed, you should reiterate the kaddish daily for 11 months. We have not done that, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t thought about Carol. Her name is mentioned in conversation or in reference to something much like my dad, David Falk, Sr. and Steve’s dad, Jack Weinberger. A portrait of Jack and Carol sit on our dining room buffet. Steve and I are content knowing the possibility that they are back together as Jack passed away in 1979.

There is a point in the service where Rabbi Glickman comes into the congregation from the bimah and ours eye met and I mouthed that Aunt Marilyn’s 80th birthday was today. After services, he met with us in the lobby and asked if she would consider a special blessing in her honor. She conceded, and he embraced her shoulders and bestowed a priestly blessing on her with us standing around. It was emotional, kind, and caring. Tears of comfort and joy filled our eyes. We did not attend the oneg that evening as we had planned on our own dessert celebration back at the house. Mitch had set the table with the chocolate-frosted birthday cake, rugelach, and fresh, hot coffee. I had arranged for two of her grandchildren, Farin Schwartz and Dina Schwartz, to facetime in and sing “Happy Birthday.” That was an added bonus to an already eventful Shabbat. Discussion ensued and we landed on the notion, the existence and definition of G-d. It was robust and meaningful.

And yes, there is life after death.