August 12, 2016 – Sarasota, FL
When our daughter, Erin, was 12 years old and preparing for her Bat-Mitzvah, she came home from school one afternoon and asked me if she could share it with her friend, Erica. I knew this was her best friend, but never considered a dual celebration. As Steve and I learned through parenting, curve balls are simply part of the process. We embraced the idea and began planning this transitional moment with Erica’s parents, Gary and Andrea, who had originally rejected the notion of their daughter participating in a Bat-Mitzvah. In addition, Rabbi Brenner Glickman had just taken the pulpit at Temple Emanu-el, and this was to be his first dual Bat-Mitzvah. In short, the simchas (joys) were just right for both of our families and the community. Ten years have passed and Erin and Erica have weaved their own lives and friendships, but we the parents continue to share stories from that moment which remain a life changer. So in honor of that, I had called Andrea at the beginning of the week to invite them to Shabbat. Andrea inquired as to what she could bring. I blurted out, “How ‘bout wine?” She was elated to share her latest liquid pleasure. She asked, “Have you heard of Ménage a Trois?” I replied, “I have, but perhaps a different version than what you might be implying.” She paused, and then began to laugh. “Oh, Amy, not that, although that sounds interesting.” In between our cackling and amusements, Andrea explained that she has found a most delicious wine that is a “dark, rich berry with a hint of pepper with a lush lingering finish leaving you wishing for more….” Needless to say, I was intrigued, and began to think maybe I should be paying much more attention to the type of wine that matches our Shabbat enthusiasm.
Simultaneously, our son had planned to have his girlfriend also dine with us for Shabbat. It wasn’t the first time we had met her, but this was more formal although our Shabbats are casual in nature. I prepared a goodie bag of hair ties and lip balms to welcome her to our table. I cannot imagine what it must have been like for her as we participated in loud political discussions, shared current political comedic videos, recited the Shabbat blessings in Hebrew with English translations, listened to Andrea’s memory of meeting her husband, the Jewish doctor, watched the Olympics in the background, and chatted about the current books that both she and my cousin, Carson, were writing. As I contemplate this Shabbat, it dawns on me how “Jewish” we are in values, traditions, and conversation. It isn’t something that we mean to be, it just is. Maybe other faiths that take this type of pause have the same responses. I was void of it at 19 years old, and Jewish didn’t roll back into my life until I met Steve. When I fell in love, it seemed to matter that we had traditions in common and that we could celebrate the ones we embraced together.
Speaking of traditions, it is on this Shabbat that my cousin, Noreen, approached me about leading the blessing for the Shabbat candles. I learned that my melodic version is for Hanukkah. Hers was “the accepted Shabbat version.” I shrugged and laughed. My son commented, “Well, Mom likes the more spirited one.” So for 51 years, I have been singing the Hanukkah melody. Who knew? But wait, there’s more that I didn’t know. Noreen had been withholding a story from me for the last 25 years. Apparently, when I lived in Atlanta during my Emory and Georgia State University years, she visited for a specialized dental appointment, and somehow I was in charge of her airline ticket which l lost. My son hysterically declared, “That sounds about right!” The story had definitely been lost in my memory, but I doubled over in laughter. I think she has held it against me for years…Jewish guilt!
We all pitched in to prepare the Shabbat dinner palate: Noreen overindulgence and contributed the stuffed peppers, purple sweet and sour cabbage, challah and summer peach pie while Steve prepared the pineapple, apricot, habanero baked chicken and the fresh mango, cantaloupe, and kiwi salad. Steve also graced the dessert table with homemade pineapple banana bread he found on the side of the road farm stand in Palmetto, FL. I referred to Pinterest to remind me about the delicious baked sliced potatoes covered with onions and garlic casserole, Andrea flitted in with the Ménage a Trois California Red Wine and Steve Berger purchased the Moscato from the Golan Heights Winery from a wine tasting party we attended at Fresh Start sponsored by Temple Emanu-El back in July. This was also the night that Michael Phelps passed the torch to Joseph Schooling in the 100-meter butterfly as he broke Phelps’ Olympic record of 50.58 with a time of 50.39. Katie Ledecky won the women’s 800-meter freestyle and broke the world record for the United States swim team. It was another memorable Shabbat.